


Out Of The Bag

by ReverseMousetrap



Series: After The Gold Rush [5]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Post-Game(s), gayperion, i just really like cats, not super shippy tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-04-16 17:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14169531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReverseMousetrap/pseuds/ReverseMousetrap
Summary: Rhys is not happy about the newest addition to Vaughn's household.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick one, written in a couple of hours one Sunday afternoon. I originally conceived this as an epilogue to Memory Leak, but it honestly has nothing to do with the story beyond one random conversation and the existence of Vaughn's house.
> 
> Please enjoy the goofy-ass fluff.

Rhys was always ready to drop everything when Vaughn called, but it didn’t take long to realise this was a butt dial.

“Damn it, Loader-Bot! Get down from there!” he heard in the distance, followed by something that sounded like a plate smashing on tiles.

“Hello? Vaughn?” he called out, but there was no way he could be heard over the commotion. He had visions of their robot friend marching around the house in the midst of a software malfunction, leaving a trail of destruction wherever a faulty algorithm decided the furniture was aligned incorrectly.

“Hold on, bro, I’m coming over,” he yelled awkwardly down the line before slamming his laptop shut and grabbing his coat. Rhys had perfected a system for getting to Vaughn’s place in eight minutes flat; he just hoped it would be fast enough to prevent disaster.

\---

The whole street was eerily quiet aside from Rhys’ laboured breathing and the pounding of his pulse. He leaned against the nearest lamp-post, cursing the hill that led up from the station and his own shameful lung capacity. He forced himself to run the last few yards up to the front door and tap out the rhythm of his signature knock.

He thought he could hear an _“oh, shit”_ from inside, followed by hurried footsteps towards the entryway. The door opened just a crack, Vaughn leaning out with a casualness that was not the slightest bit convincing.

“Well, hey! This is...unexpected,” he said.

“Yo. Heard you were having robot problems.” Rhys pointed his metal thumb at his chest. “Which is definitely my domain.”

“Uh, robot problems?” Vaughn scratched his chin, glancing nervously back into the house. “Listen, it’s always great to see you, bro, but I’m a little busy right now, why don’t you come back –”

“Vauuughn...” He raised an eyebrow and pouted a little, which usually worked as a shortcut to getting his way, but before he could judge its effectiveness there was a loud thud from inside and he found himself running after the other man into the kitchen.

Rhys ended up standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, surrounded by fallen utensils, as Vaughn chased after a fast-moving grey bundle of fur. Eventually he managed to scoop the thing into his arms despite its protests, and he turned to Rhys with a guilty smile.

“Well, guess there’s no hiding it now,” he said, eyes pleading for forgiveness. “This is Loader-Bot.”

“That’s...a cat.”

“Yeah, I remembered the time you said you were gonna name your first kid after him, and I thought, well, maybe we should use the name on something that won’t get its ass kicked at school. I mean, he doesn’t respond to it anyway, so it doesn’t really matter –”

“Where the hell did you find a cat on Pandora?”

The animal in question looked up at him with one judgmental yellow eye; the other one was missing. His fur was patchy and it was difficult to tell whether he really was grey or just experiencing the side effects of living on the planet.

“I woke up to him fighting rakks on the roof, so I figured I’d bring him inside.”

“Uh...poor thing?”

“Eh, he was fine. I just didn’t want to scrape any more rakk corpses out of the gutter.” Vaughn smiled down at the cat, who studiously ignored him, and started bouncing him playfully in his arms. That was enough to prompt Loader-Bot to slap him across the face with one paw and spring out of his grasp, wandering off to investigate the curtains. Rhys finally noticed all the bright pink scratches up both of his forearms.

“Sorry, bro. I know you hate cats, but I couldn’t just leave him out there.”

“I don’t _hate_ cats, I just think they’re huge assholes who cannot compare in any way to dogs.” He flopped down on his usual side of the couch. “Well, I’m here now. Beer?”

“Sure,” Vaughn said with a shrug, heading to the fridge.

Meanwhile, Loader-Bot had jumped up onto the cushion next to Rhys and was sniffing at his metal arm. He felt obliged to give the unfortunate creature a scratch behind the ears, but was afraid to incur his pointy-clawed wrath.

The next thing he knew, the cat was stepping onto his lap with oversized paws, testing the consistency of Rhys’ legs before settling down with his scraggly tail wrapped around his side.

“No. Bad kitty. Get off me,” he mumbled, nudging him with the back of one hand. Loader-Bot opened his eye and gave him a disgruntled look. “C’mon, I’m way too skinny. You don’t want to sit on me.”

“Aww, he likes you,” cooed Vaughn, coming back with two open bottles.

“Great, now I'm gonna be covered in fur. And how is he so heavy? You’d think he’d be skin and bones,” said Rhys, finally daring to rest his left hand on the cat’s back while accepting the drink with the other. His fur was surprisingly soft, and he even purred quietly under the touch.

“Eh, I figure you’ve got to be tough to make it around here.”

Vaughn sidled up beside him and slipped an arm around his shoulders; the two of them leaned against each other, enjoying the picture they made together.

“Maybe you accidentally stole someone’s pet,” said Rhys.

“Jeez, I hope not. Think he’s got a chip?”

“Hold on. Let me check.”

He activated his ECHO-Eye and peered curiously down at the ball of fur in his lap, waiting for the report to come through.

**_ANALYSIS COMPLETE_ **

**_Somewhat domestic cat (Felis catus)_ **

**_AGE: Unknown_ **

**_MOOD: Content...for now_ **

**_CONTENTS: Five (5) kittens_ **

Rhys’ jaw dropped. “Loader-Bot’s pregnant!”

“Wha – what?”

“This one, not the robot one,” he added, suddenly conscious of not wanting to scare the cat. “He’s – she’s? – got a bunch of babies in there.”

“Holy shit,” said Vaughn excitedly. “I’m gonna be a grandfather!”

“I didn’t even know we had a cat until, like, ten minutes ago,” Rhys complained. “Now we’re gonna have five more.”

 _“Five?”_ The other man couldn’t contain his glee. “We’d better start thinking of names!”

Rhys rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer, tipping his head back until it hit the couch. “You owe me so bad for this, bro.”

He was genuinely annoyed, but Loader-Bot was still happily rumbling away, resting her chin against his stomach. His fingers moved of their own accord to gently stroke the cat’s cheeks, and her nose twitched in half-asleep appreciation.

“You love her already.”

“No, I don’t,” he insisted. “She’s okay for a cat, that’s all.”

And two months later, when Vaughn sent all their friends a video of Rhys cradling an armful of tiny squeaking kittens, he still insisted he wasn’t a cat person.


	2. Chapter 2

They give the first kitten to Yvette. They still remember the time she came to work with bloodshot eyes from crying all night, and told them over lunch that her childhood cat had passed away at twenty-one years of age.

She hugs them both and rushes to take a group photo. Rhys puts a copy on his desk in a gaudy frame that says _Fammily_ – spelling isn’t a priority on Pandora – and shows it proudly to every visiting VIP.

-

Sasha gets the troublemaker of the litter, because they know she can handle her. They would have given one to Fiona too, but she’s allergic, and besides she’s always on the move in dangerous places as a newly minted Vault Hunter.

She’s never seen a cat in person, and she’s thrilled by how soft her fur is. The kitten becomes the much-loved mascot of Sasha’s gun repair business. There are T-shirts.

-

They weren’t planning to actually give one to Gortys, because her track record of understanding organic life is less than stellar, but when they see the two of them playing together they don’t have the heart to separate them.

Rhys gives Loader-Bot a detailed set of instructions on the care and feeding of domestic cats, and the robot makes a solemn promise to ensure their new pet stays safe.

-

One goes to Janey and Athena as an anniversary gift. The mechanic falls in love immediately, cuddling the affectionate little furball to her chest. At first they aren’t sure if Athena actually likes the kitten or just likes seeing Janey happy, but the next time they visit the two of them are inseparable.

She’s named after Athena’s sister.

-

They debate for a while on who should take the last one, and ultimately come to the same conclusion.

“His name is Pawgust,” says Vaughn, holding up the little grey tabby to the man’s scowling face.

August pretends he’s not excited about the kitten, and the kitten pretends not to be interested in him either. It’s a perfect match, and every time they’re down at the Purple Skag they see Pawgust stalking along the bar or sleeping on top of a keg. Anyone he takes a dislike to is watched closely by security, and it turns out the cat is an excellent judge of character.

One time Rhys catches August scratching him under the chin while baby-talking, and swears not to tell anyone on pain of death – so naturally, everyone knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There wasn't going to be a second part, but as I was falling asleep last night my brain said "GORTYS WITH A KITTEN" and, well, how could I say no to that?
> 
> ETA: Everyone needs to see [this BLESSED IMAGE](https://corporatestooge.tumblr.com/post/174981683747/sketch-commission-for-reversemousetrap-a-scene) created by the magnificent [@corporatestooge](corporatestooge.tumblr.com) of tumblr


End file.
